Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
they're like a gay fantastic four
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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