Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
