Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I understand Curling. That high.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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