So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
