He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
