Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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