Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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