windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
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Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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