Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
