Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize