the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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