Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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