She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
nutella sex= disaster
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
