it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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