So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
