You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
