She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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