Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize