is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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