So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Apparently you make a good broom.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
