3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
