i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
