he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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