I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
there was a trapeze. enough said
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
