There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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