I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
