i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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