Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
