She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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