guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
