32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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