so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
