I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
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A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
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If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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