Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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