So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
