Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
