This is not my ceiling
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
