im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize