too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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