Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
my being single is dangerous.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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