just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There r osticjed everywhere
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
