Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
