I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
