I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
as a side note pls kill me
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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