hell yes lets make some ravioli
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
There's even glitter on my cock...
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