Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
