If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
