If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
