Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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