rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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