Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
