and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize