u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
