i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
