he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
So many bounce houses so little time
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
