Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
