I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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