Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
