I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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