and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
When are your genitals available?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
