i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
