I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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